It took a long time for me to realize how important it is that we don’t carry grudges along with us in our lives. I started learning this lesson mostly in high school. Back then, my friends, like Keri or boyfriends like Stephen, would sometimes do mean things or flip out on me and it was difficult to understand why they’d acted that way. Often I’d get mad at them and not speak to them for a long time, still stinging with the hurt of what they had done. Because of my shyness and insecurity, I never confronted them and told them their actions had made me angry. I’d just stew about the situation and carry a grudge, but that affected my whole view of the person and I’d even sometimes begin to think that they were bad people rather than good people displaying bad behavior. Plus, there was the effect all that negativity and hostility had on me personally, putting me in a bad mood and increasing my stress levels everytime I thought about or saw that person. I’d sometimes get sick to my stomach I’d be so upset and I’d just avoid the person who upset me altogether, even if it meant missing school or not going to events I really would have loved to participate in. Sometimes the people we care about can hurt us the most and it’s often difficult to recover from those wounds.
I learned after a while, though, that by holding a grudge all I was doing was extending the length of the confrontation and wrecking my relationships. This was especially true when I remained angry at people without even telling them I was angry at them. After all, how were they supposed to [More]